Wednesday, December 9, 2015

My Ten Favorite Peripheral Star Wars Characters

I'm so excited about Star Wars that I made a listicle!  Don't get used to this.

1.  Lobot

I mentioned, in my hallucinatory reliving of my many watchings of Star Wars (just one more advantage to getting old), that Lobot (the cyborg jedi) was my very favorite peripheral character of all time.

And frankly, I’m not extremely familiar with the now-defunct extended universe, and I’ll just stop referring to it. I have no knowledge regarding his criminal background or other backstory. He could be a sensitive poet for all I know. What I do know is that when he makes jedi-like gestures, machinery moves. To me, this is every bit as amazing as using the Force to throw something across a room -- possibly more.

2. Bossk

All the bounty hunters are lined up. There’s Boba in his iconic armor of many colors. And what’s that standing next to him? A giant lizard?

It’s a Trandoshan. Again, there is more intriguing lore, which is all gone now, bye. The gist is that they are carnivorous lizards that work as bounty hunters because they’re good at lying in wait. Just imagine that. You come home, hey, is that a lizard sitting all camouflaged on that rock over there – aaagh, it’s a bounty hunter!  Talk about your ultimate stake-out machine. And props for making it in a human-centric industry, Bossk. You must be good at what you do.

3. Figrin Dan

Leader of the Mos Eisley cantina swing band. Somebody seriously needs to fire their manager for getting them this terrible gig, and since Dan is the bandleader, he probably finalized the deal. Dan and the guys make the best of it, playing a song that’s still stuck in my head after all these years.

4. Malakili the Rancor Trainer

Luke has just won a fight with a rancor, and the room is rejoicing, except for Jabba, who is sweating, and this one sad fellow, Malakili, mourning the loss of his pet. But he wasn't that broken up when it ate a Gamorrean guard with one crunch. Talk about your passive-aggressive co-workers.

5. Jawas

What do they look like, beneath those mini-burkas and glowing amber eyes? We may never know.

6. The Disturbing Sandcrawler Droid

The dude on the right -- most of the action shots of him were too dark to see anything. What a rough-looking character.

7.  Bib Fortuna

Twi’leks are a race noted for their grace, and elegance, and beauty, and dancing skills. So who’s the first one we see? A drugged-out bodyguard with red eyes.

Elvis Presley, after he got famous, got a bunch of guys that were basically his friends from high school and called them the Memphis Mafia and paid them to hang around keeping him amused. Jabba apparently didn’t have any friends in high school, since all he’s got is Bib.  Does Bib display any kind of affection toward his fellow Twi’leks? He does not. His sympathies are clearly with his boss, who no doubt supplies him with plentiful amounts of whatever is making his eyes red. Bib is an utter disgrace to any species. And that’s why he’s kind of cool. He subverts the Twi’lek trope before we’re even introduced to it.

8. The Deathstick Dealer

I wonder if he ever went home to think about his life. I think it's more likely he met someone in that nightclub -- look at those adorable antennae, who could resist?  

9. Kaminoans

"So, um, how do you guys stay so slender?" 

10. Hammerhead

A fine strapping young Ithorian, stopping into the Mos Eisley cantina for a beer before getting on with a swashbuckling adventure in which humans play no part whatsoever. 

No comments:

Post a Comment