Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Pre-Publication Predictions

I'm shooting for publication tomorrow. In the meantime, here are some predictions.
  • About $4k over the rest of 2016, perhaps, as I commit brand establishment and possibly drum up some interest in the sequel, and also go to Worldcon in Kansas City and write it off.
  • At least one person will throw me some shade regarding why my book is harmful to them/society on spurious grounds; I will point them to this blog post, and laugh.
    • If you’re interested in exchanging aggression, take it to Hearthstone. Jackalope 1920 will be glad to murloc you upside the face.
    • Or go write your own novel that’s better than mine. That’s kind of what I did, so we’d be playing leapfrog, and maybe the next frog will write a masterpiece.
    • Anyway, you should treasure novels that suck, they inspire you to read/write better ones.
    • Better novels than mine include: Watership Down; The Day Of The Locust; Harry Potter; the Dark Tower – the list goes on.
  • Back to the predictions. Someone else will tell me they don’t like e-books because of the papery feel of paper, and I will probably sit there and nod at them, politely, like I do.
    • One time, at some old prior office, I had a library book and one of my co-workers shook her head sadly and said “I couldn’t do that, I have to own the books I read.” At the time, my bookshelves at home were three deep. And I was still hanging around the library (for the stuff I refused to spend money on, like bestsellers). 
      • One-upmanship often takes weird forms.
  • Oh hey, maybe someone will try to dredge up that old Amazon clickbait in order to tell me I’m working for an evil corporation. Must remember to find Slate article debunking informant and counterallege re misplaced trust in clickbait. Personally, I like Amazon. They’ll send me passion-fruit flavored Kit Kats from Japan if I ask them nicely. We’ve been together since the ‘90s, with no complaints.
  • In fact, maybe I’ll even get some shade from the journalism people I used to hang out with in the ‘90s. A couple of them are still around, but then I think I also have a couple of fans hanging around from back then, so it all balances out.
  • And let’s keep surfing that happy note (I like to get the gloom out of the way first), at least ten people that I’ve never heard of before will read this thing, and like it.
  • Also, some of the people in my life will just pick it up to be polite, and they’ll end up liking it.
  • And other people will admit that it’s not their thing at all while being pleased for me anyway.
  • In fact, some people won’t like it at all, and that’s okay. Liking my book(s) is not a prerequisite to friendship. We can talk about other things.
  • At least one person will browse my book and say to themselves, “Hey, there’s a book with a brown kid on it.” They don’t necessarily have to read it, but they’ll know that such things exist. Go look at the corporate publishers’ covers sometime; you’d think they don’t. 
  • At least one person looking for an adventure story where the hero wins by his wits as opposed to his ability to murder enemies will be satisfied. Even if they feel the way my characters “snarl” and “yell” and “growl” their dialogue from time to time gets tired fast.
  • Maybe I’ll get that cover screenprinted on a hoodie and write it off. Or perhaps some promotional yoyos. 
  • I will feel happy that I finally wrote a real live old-fashioned book before dying of old age.
  • Also that I got to the Finishing The Art stage, which is my personal bete noire. And that I’m going to keep on doing it until I write something decent. 
  • I predict that I will spend most of 2016 writing the sequel. 
    • I’ve already written most of it. This is more like polishing it and fitting all the plot ends together, and squeezing in more explosions and disasters. 

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