One: My mind works in excruciatingly nonstandard ways, because my brain is configured in a nonstandard way, which means that as far as the literary establishment is concerned (including the science fictional division), I’m an outsider artist. I’m not likely to be a literary sensation or a crowd-pleasing revenue generator. I’m solely writing for my niche, and if we had any clout, the world would look a lot different.
Two: Pretty much all my formative encounters with published writers involved creepiness and lechery. I often encountered that as a teenager, but never to the extent as I did with the first SF/fantasy writers I met. Since then, I’ve heard more cringeworthy stories, and have made a few lifelong enemies over this sort of thing. I've aged out of experiencing it directly, one would hope, and I'm not so much concerned about it happening to me as I am about agreeing to do business with someone who turns out to be doing creepy things to others. I've had that happen more than once. Narcissist-rich industries are prone to it.
Three: I have no delusions of getting rich from my writing, but it would be nice to have an income stream to give me a trickle of retirement income even though it’s going to take me a while to build my audience. Publishers want to concentrate the profit into a couple of years, and if your material doesn’t hit a home run on its debut, they’re not going to carry you for a few years until you become successful. Even established writers often resort to self-publishing to keep their backlist in print.
Four: There’s a thing called “whitewashing” where mainstream publishers change dark-skinned characters into light-skinned cover illustrations. I think that’s messed up, so I commission my own damn covers and some of them have diverse people on them.
Five: I have iffy relationships with editors – in my old age, I realize this is because my mind works in excruciatingly nonstandard ways. I have a hard time dealing with that level of variable oversight in my creative life unless it’s the right person.
Six: YA fiction, the genre I have foolishly chosen, is notorious for a heavy-handed outrage scene which opponents sometimes dismiss as “cancel culture.” Do I dare to wade into this fray, knowing that it only takes a few misplaced syllables to summon a howling mob to dox and harass me? Well … for the most part, I agree with the outraged mobs. They have a point. That’s why I try to write about diverse characters doing non-bigoted things in worlds that don’t celebrate structural discrimination based on innate characteristics. But yeah, there’s always a possibility that I’ve used an offensive term that I didn’t know was offensive. That’s a writer’s job, to know those things, but it’s not easy. As a self-pubbie, if I put my foot in my mouth, I’ll probably apologize, but it’s not going to be the end of my writing career, and I’m not taking anyone else down with me.
Seven: At the same time I occasionally piss off the conservatives too, by writing about queer people who never go to church, and dinosaurs. Again, as a self-pubbie, my audience has to actively seek me out and is unlikely to encounter me by accident. Nobody’s bookstore is going to get picketed because I wrote a scene with a big old on-the-lips yaoi kiss with a plesiosaur breaching in the background.
Eight: There are two main publishers of American SF, and I have old personal grudges with people embedded at both of them. I refuse to die of old age wondering why all my submissions got rejected.
Nine: I know damn well I can be a successful writer. I’ve written for millions of humans under various auspices and other peoples’ intellectual property. Now I’m going for a bigger challenge – selling my own content. Not having a corporate marketing department to support me in this endeavor, in a pandemic world where I can’t shmooze at conventions, just makes it hard mode. Guess I will have to write extra good.
Ten: It keeps me busy, without worrying about deadline stress or other bottom-line concerns. I’d rather do this than watch TV or socialize. Best case, I make some friends and buy some toys. Worst case, I get to write off my research trips on my taxes.
No comments:
Post a Comment